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 Release Date: 2000 Tagline: This is no game. Director: Courtney Solomon Writers: Topper Lilien, Carroll Cartwright
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| Plot Synopsis by Justin: Ridley (Justin Whalin) and Snails (Marlon Wayans) are a couple of thieves looking for one big score. And, since they’re in D&D, they happily call themselves thieves, loudly, repeatedly and in mixed company. Meanwhile, would-be tyrant Profion (Jeremy Irons) is plotting to control red dragons for the purpose of stealing the throne from Empress Savina (Thora Birch, clearly influenced by Natalie Portman’s comatose portrayal of Queen Amidala). Ridley and Snails break into the school for mages, and get caught by Marina (Zoe McClellan), a young wizard who is clearly supposed to be ugly because she wears glasses and has an unflattering updo. Profion’s minions, led by Damodar (who, for reasons never explained, wears bright blue lipstick), choose this moment to break into the same school to steal a scroll that will lead them to a rod that controls red dragons. Got it? Ridley, Snails and Marina get the scroll instead and decide to recover the artifact. I guess so that the villains can steal it from them in the third act. Whoops… spoiled the movie for you there. There’s a lot of running through sets that look left over from that two-parter of Angel where he went to the Host’s home dimension. Along the way, Ridley’s group hooks up with the world’s tallest dwarf and an elf with metal breasts. Snails gets killed because he’s the black guy, Ridley discovers he’s got a destiny because he’s the white guy, and Marina loses her glasses and lets her hair down because Hollywood thinks girls with glasses and managed hair are ugly. There’s a huge battle in which Ridley kills Damodar (whose name really sounds like “Dammit all”) and Savina kills Profion. So all’s well that ends well. Until the director dropped some acid and shot the end. | |||||||||||||||||
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Justin (as Captain Supermarket):