 |
 [Dünyayi kurtaran adam] aka Turkish Star Wars Release Date: 1982 Tagline: [none] Director: Çetin Inanç Writer: Cüneyt Arkin
|
||||||||||
| Plot Synopsis by Justin: This movie is nearly impossible to summarize. Despite having watched the whole thing, without once getting up, I have next to no idea of what really happened. I’d also like to preface this by saying that no matter how strange anything I write is, I am not making anything up. Anyway, the movie opens using footage from Star Wars, with narration by a guy who sounds coked out of his mind: he talks too fast, mangles his sentence structure, and makes almost no sense whatsoever. There are good guys and bad guys. The good guys created a “crust of molecules from human brains” to protect earth, but the earth got blown up several times anyway, even though it’s still there. I know. Two pilots, Murat and Ali, fight the bad guys, which consists of grimacing while a big screen TV plays Star Wars behind them. They crash land on a planet and Ali attempts to attract women with this piercing whistle that a dolphin would find shrill. Instead of women, he gets skeletons who capture Murat and Ali and make them fight for the amusement of a galactic overlord whose name is probably Bilgin. Murat and Ali escape with a bunch of kids and a woman that looks like she goes to the Joker’s beauty salon. Mummies made of toilet paper attack and kill nearly all the kids. This prompts Murat and Ali to a training montage that basically consists of attacking rocks and jumping around. Murat goes on a quest to get the only items that can kill Bilgin: a chintzy wooden sword and a rubber brain. He fights a variety of monsters mostly by jumping over them repeatedly. Ali betrays Murat to get the glory, but Murat still manages to beat Bilgin by mashing the brain into Bilgin’s face. Murat flies away to jump around like an asshole on someone else’s planet. | |||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||
 Clinton: I think Morpheus from the Matrix says it best: "Unfortunately, no one can be told what [Turkish Star Wars] is. You have to see it for yourself." |
|||||||||||
 Justin (as Captain Supermarket): Turkish Star Wars |
|||||||||||