Justin is known by a variety of names and is desperately afraid that they will one day get together and destroy him. He is a writer by trade, a drunk by design and an orthopedist by accident. He likes peanut M&Ms, the smell of chlorine and two of his three cats. In his spare time, he researches new gods and complains incessantly about little metal men that probably have a low opinion of him anyway. Born and raised in Los Angeles, Justin thought briefly of moving to Wichita in order to experience the American Dream in reverse, but quickly abandoned that once he realized that they don't have In & Out in Kansas. Justin handles boardwalk and quagmire with aplomb; he that doubts Justin, sucks cock by choice.